Thursday, 25 September 2014

Script second draft

Here is the sceond draft of the script where some corrections have been made and also numbers have been added as each number relates to one of the shots on the shots list.

EXT. A STREET- NIGHT

1-1The street feels dark, empty, solemn. There appears to be no one around, only the flickering of street lights can be seen.

And then the sound of an unsettling, females, scream and many, male, grunts coming following it.

1-2,1-3We move to see EDWARD STEVENSON brutally beating his girlfriend, SARAH FITZWARIN with a large rock.
1-4The image of the rock flashes quickly to the image of an apple being held in the air. The apple of Eden.
1-5,1-6 Blood already covers his face, clothes, and, particularly, his hands.

EXT. OPEN FIELD-DAY
1-7,1-8We see an almost identical scene, a short brief one of the first murder. CAIN is standing over ABEL, hitting him with a rock.

TITLES
EXT. A STREET- NIGHT
2-1There is a ringing phone, heard coming from EDWARD’s pocket. He stops beating SARAH and takes out the phone.

2-2He answers it.
2-3
EDWARD
Hello?

SARAH (V.O)
Hello.

EDWARD
Who is this?

SARAH (V.O)
Sarah. Sarah FitzWarin.

2-4EDWARD looks down to the bloody body, before standing and walking away.
2-5
2-6EDWARD
Sarah?

SARAH (V.O)
Yes. Who is this?

EDWARD
Who am I? Ed…

SARAH (V.O)
Is this Peter, Peter Deluca?

EDWARD thinks for a moment. It feels silent and peaceful.

EDWARD
Yes. My name is Peter Deluca.

SARAH (V.O)
Can you still hear me?

2-7EDWARD looks at his phone.

EDWARD
Hello?

2-8After no reply, EDWARD puts his phone in his pocket.

2-9He looks back over to the body.

He walks over to it and, with no emotion he sits beside it.

EDWARD (V.O)
My name is Edward Stevenson. And I murdered my girlfriend.

EXT. A STREET- EARLIER

3-1There is an empty street, more of a back street behind some houses.

EDWARD (V.O)
But it was not I who wanted her dead. But… I could see the reasoning.

We turn to see EDWARD sitting alone on a wall, looking down to the pavement as he drinks from a can.

3-2Another male walks up to him, he is of the same age. This is HUGO.

HUGO
Good morning Peter.

EDWARD (V.O)
Edward.

EDWARD
Morning Hugo.

3-3HUGO
Sarah.

3-4EDWARD
What about her?

3-5HUGO
She’s changing you, Peter.

EDWARD (V.O)
Edward…

HUGO
I know you love her. But don’t you also love me?

3-6EDWARD
Hugo. I do love you. But…

HUGO
What? What is it?

3-7EDWARD
There’s something about Sarah. I don’t know what it is.

3-8HUGO
No! You must know exactly what it is. You love me. You have always loved me!

3-9EDWARD
But I desire Sarah.

3-10HUGO
No, Peter. No.

3-12EDWARD
We cannot be together anymore Hugo. It is not supposed to even be.

3-13HUGO
You must kill her.

3-14EDWARD
You want me to kill Sarah?

3-15HUGO places his hand upon EDWARD’s shoulder.

HUGO
Yes. She is corrupting your mind...Edward…She is changing you into a bad person. She wants to control you. To take us from each other.

EDWARD (V.O)
She’ll take us from each other.

EXT. A STREET-NIGHT

4-1EDWARD is standing over the body of SARAH. He is holding his phone down to his side.

EDWARD crouches beside the body, 4-2taking hold of SARAH’s bloody hand.

4-3EDWARD
Must you have died so soon? Must I have been the one to find you here lifeless?

4-4A hand comes down upon EDWARD’s shoulder.

SARAH (O.S)
Death is pre-decided.

4-5EDWARD looks up to see SARAH standing over him. She is wearing a white dress.

4-6EDWARD quickly stands, terrified, and he shuffles away.

EDWARD
No. No! You do not speak to me. You are dead!

4-7SARAH
I don’t feel dead, Edward.

4-8EDWARD
But I see your body by my feet.

4-9SARAH
I see no body, Peter.

EDWARD looks back over to the body. There is nothing there. No body, no blood. Absolutely no sign of a murder at all.

4-10EDWARD
I watched you die. I felt you die.

4-11SARAH takes hold of EDWARD’s hand and pulls him slightly.

4-12SARAH
Come with me.

They walk off together. Hand in hand.

EXT. AN OLD HOME-DAY

5-1It is dream like. Almost heavenly. Though it is also empty.

SARAH (V.O)
Come home with me.

5-2EDWARD and SARAH walk towards the building, still hand in hand.

5-3EDWARD
Where are we?

SARAH
Welcome home Peter.

EDWARD
This is not my home.

5-4SARAH
No. Not your home, Peter. This is our home.

EXT. A STREET-DAY

6-1EDWARD is sat on the ground, his head in his hands.

HUGO walks up and sits beside him.

HUGO
Have you done it yet? Have you killed her?

6-2EDWARD
I can’t kill her Hugo. I can’t.

6-3HUGO
Do you not listen to me? Do you not care for me anymore?

6-4EDWARD
No! No I don’t.

6-5HUGO quickly stands and grabs hold of EDWARD, 6-6pulling him up.

6-7HUGO throws EDWARD to the ground.

6-8EDWARD quickly reaches for a rock and 6-9starts to hit HUGO.6-10

6-11HUGO falls to the ground, dead, as 6-12EDWARD stands over him. A scene almost identical to EDWARD’s murder of SARAH.

EXT. A FIELD-DAY

7-1CAIN drops the rock beside the body of ABEL, he is breathing heavily.

The apple sits beside ABEL, stained by blood.


EDWARD (V.O)
Pain. Passion. Anger. Deceit. We are all humans. We do as we desire. We love as we choose. We control our world. No one else.

FADE TO WHITE

EXT. OLD HOME-DAY

7-1EDWARD is walking alone towards the old house.


EDWARD (V.O)
My name is Peter Deluca. And I murdered my boyfriend.

He walks away into a light.
FADE TO BLACK


            THE END.

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